So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
and you fell through a lawn chair
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
