Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
