Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
