Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
