I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
