i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
