Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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