a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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