Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
