I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
