Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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