grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
