OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize