the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
