I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
