She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
