Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
