Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
