if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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