That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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