I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
