she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
