brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
