You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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