$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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