Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
