She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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