Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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