you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
