i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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