i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize