My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
third nipple confirmed
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
