So drunk, too bad you don't want this
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
