I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
