community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
