Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
