Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
