will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
