what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
