it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
