i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
