It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
