Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize