Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
should my penis look like a turkey
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
