Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize