i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
