i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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