I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
