We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
