If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
