At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
