Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
