True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Green mimosas i think yes
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
