literally had 100 drinks last night.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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