Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
