What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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