Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Randomize
