Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
