on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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