On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
