"it" just moved
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
