I am puke
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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