Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
